Don’t let the Kavanaugh conundrum drag you down

Column by Michael Alcorn
Posted 10/2/18

And, there you have it. After almost two full years, we’ve finally found a job in Washington D.C. that is worse than being a speechwriter for President Trump: FBI Investigator into …

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Don’t let the Kavanaugh conundrum drag you down


And, there you have it. After almost two full years, we’ve finally found a job in Washington D.C. that is worse than being a speechwriter for President Trump: FBI Investigator into Blasey-Ford/Kavanaugh. One imagines conversations like this:

“Hello. May I speak with Mr. Judge?”

“This is Mr. Judge.”

“Hello Mr. Judge. [nods to partner] I’m Agent Johnson, this is Special Agent Johnson, no relation. Can we ask you a few questions?”

Hesitates. “Uh, sure.”

“Do you know Brett Kavanaugh?”


“Do you know Christine Blasey-Ford?”


Pauses. “Okay. Were you at a party with both Judge Kavanaugh and Dr. Ford?”

Blinks. “Well, I don’t know her…”

“How about, were you at a party with Judge Kavanaugh and some unnamed girl?”

“Um… I don’t know. What day was it?”

“Um…we don’t have that information.”

“Okay.” Blinks. “Well, where was this party?”

“Um…we don’t have that information, either.”

Blinks. Then smiles. “Is this for an F.B.I. Bloopers reel or something…”

I wish to God that there were some way we could know with 100 percent certainty exactly what happened in 1981, I really do. This political circus has poured salted lemon juice in already-deep wounds in our civic body, and, absent that certainty, it’s difficult to imagine those wounds healing any time soon.

And, what’s even more troubling, perhaps for all of us, is that Jefferson County is about to be buried under the sludge of the political swamp. As a bellwether district, both national parties and the media watch what happens in Jefferson County fairly closely, plus, we’re in a mid-major television market. It all adds up to us needing to brace for an onslaught of advertising dollars. Which, in its practical form, usually means sludge.

Please allow me to make a recommendation: turn off your media sources. The swamp feeds on our attention — starve it. Instead, go outside and water your lawn by hand, wave “hi” to the neighbors, strike up a conversation. Talk about the kids, their soccer season, the road projects that frustrate your commute. Talk about real life things, the kinds of things that all those people on your television don’t understand, or want you to stop paying attention to. I think you’ll find that the really important parts of people can be discovered by communicating a little bit, and — here’s a little secret — none of those parts have very much to do with politics, at all.

Tim Allen, in the re-debut of “Last Man Standing” last Friday night, said that “not communicating has become our weapon of choice.” We un-friend, un-follow, dis-associate and disrespect each other as a sort of sport. I, literally, had two of my friends, people who have known each other for 31 years, block each other on Facebook last week over an argument about Kavanaugh/Ford. This is a zero-sum game, people — starve. the. swamp. Don’t play in to it.

I don’t think America is broken; I know that Arvada and Jefferson County aren’t broken. But Washington, D.C.? That place may be beyond hope. Fight off that infection by simply connecting to the people around you.

Next step: some sort of statutory requirement that our “representatives” have to spend significant time among us, as well, and, more importantly, out of the swamp. But that’s a battle for another day.

This past weekend, I had the distinct pleasure of hearing the Stratus Chamber Orchestra perform in conjunction with the Life/Arts Dance Company. It was wonderful! And there are two similar organizations at the Arvada Center for the Performing Arts, and a number of community bands and orchestras around town, and, maybe, one of the top dance companies in the country in Cleo Parker Robinson. My point is that if you want to experience beauty, there are opportunities all over the city to see and hear wonderful art without it costing you a week’s salary. Check ‘em out this weekend!

Michael Alcorn is a teacher and writer who lives in Arvada with his wife and three children. His novels are available at His opinions are not necessarily those of Colorado Community Media.


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