Odd observations from turkey week

Column by Michael Alcorn
Posted 12/4/19

It’s like rai-ee-ain, on your wedding day…. And isn’t it ironic? With all due respect to the phenomenal musical/lyrical talent of Alanis Morissette, rain on your wedding day isn’t actually, …

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Odd observations from turkey week

Posted

It’s like rai-ee-ain, on your wedding day….

And isn’t it ironic?

With all due respect to the phenomenal musical/lyrical talent of Alanis Morissette, rain on your wedding day isn’t actually, technically speaking, “ironic.” Unfortunate, sure; maybe a bad sign, possibly; but not ironic. Of course, I get what she was saying there. In fact, I’ve been noticing a lot of things lately that sort of fit into the same category as that.

For instance, did you happen to notice last week that the city of Arvada did an incredible job clearing Ward Hill? For those of you that don’t frequent northwest Arvada, Ward Hill is a stretch of Ward Road between 72nd and 64th that features a 60-foot or so climb in the space of about a quarter mile. And, yes, for those of you that don’t run very much, that’s a very steep incline. And it makes for really treacherous driving if there’s even a little bit of snow or ice, like last week, speaking as someone who has had to reroute several trips in my life to avoid or recover from a failure on that hill. So, hats off to the city for keeping that stretch clean last week.

So, can I ask why the relatively flat stretch of Ward Road from 64th to 58th didn’t get clean until Saturday, four days after the storm ended? And, then the next stretch from 58th down to I-70 was just as bad, which is awful because it’s not a very flat stretch. And, I understand that the city has to triage your roads and prioritize, but it took four days! And you only have one significant north-south road on the west end of the city — wouldn’t you want to get it cleaned up pretty quick?

Ya know, not ironic — just one of those things.

And let me tell you another one: Christmas lights. I am one of those guys who tried to wait until Thanksgiving week to get my outside decorating done, and, well…. I failed. I was fortunate to get a little yard work done before the storm arrived, but that was it. No decorating.

But, what I don’t understand is those people who showed much greater foresight than I did, and who got all their outdoor decorations up before the storm… but then don’t turn on the lights. I mean, sure, the hurricane winds would discourage setting up some of your decorations, but if the lights are already up, isn’t the absolute perfect setting for them in the middle of a heavy snow? I guess I just don’t understand that.

And another thing: how much does it stink that the first real, heavy-duty snowstorm we’ve had in a couple years comes right in the middle of what’s already a vacation week for Jeffco schools? Yeah, we’ve had a couple snow days for bad driving conditions, but there’s nothing quite like a full-blown blizzard sort of surprise day off. Snow caves and snowball fights and all the excitement. It’s not the same on a vacation week.

And, finally, I’m writing this as I’m watching the last seconds tick off of the Broncos’ strange and unlikely win over the Los Angeles Chargers. It’s about time the Broncos were the beneficiaries of luck this season: the Chargers’ kicker doinks one off the goalpost that could have been decisive, and then the refs throw a flag in the last 10 seconds that sets Denver up for the winning kick. Go figure.

Just one of those things.

Michael Alcorn is a teacher and writer who lives in Arvada with his wife and three children. His new novel, “Charon’s Blade,” is available at Amazon.com, on Kindle, or through MichaelJAlcorn.com.” His opinions are not necessarily those of Colorado Community Media.

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